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Playoffs and Championship Game

Noteworthy Happenings in Playoffs

In a must win game to make the playoffs, Jon only starts one healthy QB. He lucks out and wins anyway.

Message Boards

Re: ALTAMONTE PARK FOOTBALL
by: Mark Federov (MANNY. RAMIREZ.)
Dec 4

I'm home the night of the 26th, but my knee ain't ready for prime time, no how, no way. I'm happy to ref any game you guys would like to play on the 27th, especially if I could make some calls that would encourage another ball-spiking fit from iHark.

But even if I was healthy, my assertion would be that we're too old for tackle, given last year's injuries and such. How about we all just go throw the ball around for a while, make up some old football exploits that probably never happened, and then grab a beer and watch the 'Horchata Challenge' video again? Isn't that better, anyway? If that's the game, I'm in for the 27th.

By the way, now that I'm in 3rd place it's going to be that much more satisfying when I beat Sammy and Johnny in consecutive weeks to win the championship.

Bring it, Bobby. As ever.

Re: ALTAMONTE PARK FOOTBALL
by: Johnny Ryder (Luchas de Apuestas)
Dec 4

Fed- What is this a fucking Brett Favre commercial? I'll just go ahead and bring my wranglers so I can look good while we just "throw it around".

Jon- Bravo, sir. Bra-vo. Whupped my ass without one of your QB's. Let us hope that your streak continues into next week.

Abe- Thanks for lobbying so hard for the regular season $$ payout. I'll make sure to toast to you when I am spending your money.

Sam- Well done getting the bye. See you week 16 when your cowboys QB will be your own undoing.

Izzy- I'll be there for park football.

Re: ALTAMONTE PARK FOOTBALL
by: Jon Garciaparra (things fall apart)
Dec 4

i can get a set of flags if you guys want to play flag football. Even though for the most part all of us are grown up enough to have health insurance i dont want to pay a $75 emergency room co-pay. plus if we are just gonna hang out and throw it around i'll bring Jon Jr.. he can throw a better spiral than Izzy. He can probably tackle better too.
i thought we had decided the 26th noonish.

Season PTS winner is still a loser
by: Abe Harkleman (Denver Star RB)
Dec 4

Week in week out best team thank Westbrook, Romo and AP. Buy me a Budweiser at the Firestation, I feel as long as you can't catch a can, and have scars to prove it you might deserve it.

I am mostly happy with the weak situation Fed is in, must be shaky going into the playoff with a team looking like that. I haven't seen so many losers since MHS Tennis 1995. Remind me when we are playing tackle football to aim for your knee.

I have my concerns but as soon at Brady and Moss get angry with these few close ones it is back on for me. Unlucky the past few weeks, not anymore, fear me Bart. Advise to you, start a K.

Sunday

my last word
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (January 7 2008)
Dec 5

wow, what a miserable fantasy football season, topped off with a WVU loss to Pitt. Not much to say, but see you <clever slur that rhymes a chum's name, that he could possibly recognize> next year.

Hey Abe, Margot wanted me to tell you that she's pulling for you in the playoffs.

wow, I feel better already.

all you stupid bitches must read this
by: Mark Federov (MANNY. RAMIREZ.)
Dec 10

a) Sammy, i'm coming for you. there is no escape.

b) bills are back in playoff contention, baby. just imagine where they'd be if they hadn't gotten cheated by the cowgirlz.

c) this shit's worth watching:

Quarterfinal Playoff Update:

Jon Garciaparra stuns his fellow general managers by starting only one active QB in his quarterfinal round matchup versus Mark Federov. This is the 2nd must win game in a row that Jon has started only one active QB.

He then rubs salt into the wound by changing his team name to "r u surprised?"

Federov wins the game by nearly 60 pts.

uh, yeah, i'm a little surprised
by: Mark Federov (MANNY. RAMIREZ.)
Dec 10

I thought you might start (or at least pick up) more than one QB who was going to play in a game this week.

But don't mistake surprise for disappointment. 'Cause I ain't disappointed.

Quarterfinal Playoff Update:

Abe's Brady-Moss connection combines for 86.5 points against the Pittsburgh Steelers. After Lombarchi's RBs combine for 5.5 points he trails Abe by 46.41 points going into the Monday night game where his only hope is a big night from Drew Brees against Atlanta.

uh oh..
by: Abe Harkleman (Denver Star RB)
Dec 10

Look who decided that the NFL is their bitch again.. Brady and Moss turning it back on, just in time for playoffs. Fear them. Look at my bench, can't catch a can and the only accomplishment is regular season pts. I'll toast you with my "real" championship $$$.

Fed, way to beat a guy that for some reason isn't playing. Thanks for showing me a video I saw 8 months ago, get with the times.

Broncos big win,
Dec. 24th MNF Chargers, Coaches. I'll be there celebrating 27 years with Budweiser and chicken wings. Cutler 4 td's what?

out.

Re: uh oh..
by: Johnny Ryder (Luchas de Apuestas)
Dec 10

I will admit that I am a little unnerved by Brady and Moss scoring at will against the (until then) #1 Rated D. However, Abe, if you will remember correctly we have played not once, but twice so far. Subsequently, I have beaten you not once, but twice during that time span. Indeed, Brady and moss put up 80+ points the first time around, and I still made you my bitch. Fact is, if Romo, Peterson and Westbrook produce like they have been all year long, it really will not matter what Brady and Moss do. I will also point you to the fact that any yardage and TD's to Welker is an advantage for me.

Don't start celebrating quite yet cowboy.

Re: uh oh..
by: Johnny Ryder (Luchas de Apuestas)
Dec 10

Oh, and as an aside- Purple Jesus is going against the very same team he broke the NFL single game rushing record against earlier this year. This after a very disappointing outing that will surely fire him up even more.

Just thought I would throw that little nugget into the mix for you.

As another aside- It is not completely absurd to think Brees could put up 50 against one of the worst D's in the league. Better hold the celebration for a few hours.

Finally:

Jon- seriously- there was like 5 possible starting QB's you could have picked up last week...are you so cruel as to openly mock how seriously some of us take this game?

For shame. I expect the league officials to take a serious look into how well you are representing the good name of Bonita Industries.

Fines may be assessed to be sure.

Quarterfinal Playoff Update:

Lombarchi needed 46.41 points from Drew Brees to beat Abe. Brees came through with 44.77.

Lombarchi loses by 1.69 points.

Close, but no cigar.

pheeeeeeeewwwww...
by: Abe Harkleman (Denver Star RB)
Dec 10

Fuck you Atlanta D, almost gave me a heart attack. Fuck that thing on Brees's face. See you this weekend Johnny.

Quarterfinal Scores

Quarterfinal Matchups	*Points:*

(1) Johnny Ryder
bye

(4) Brad Lombarchi	156.74
(5) Abe Harkleman	157.43

(3) Mark Federov	109.10
(6) Jon Garciaparra	167.03

(2) Sammy Walton
bye

Playoff Standings After Quarterfinals

Quarterfinal	*Semi Finals*

(1) Johnny Ryder
bye
	(1) Johnny Ryder
	(5) Abe Harkleman
(4) Brad Lombarchi
(5) Abe Harkleman

(3) Mark Federov
(6) Jon Garciaparra
	(3) Mark Federov
	(2) Sammy Walton
(2) Sammy Walton
bye

Message Boards - Semifinal Week

So many people to thank...
by: Bart Lombarchi (December 22 2007)
Dec 11

...so little time.

I'd like to start off by thanking Eric Johnson for dropping a sure TD pass last night that Higgins' dog could have snagged.

I'd like to thank Kolby Smith for 12 yards on 13 carries against a team that Mark and his "no how, no way" knee would have gained at least 35 yards.

I'd like to thank the Rockies for rolling over in 4 games. Bravo.

I'd like to thank iHark for fielding a team each week that would be charitably called an abortion. High entertainment.

As someone who's staunchly defended his right to be in the league every August, I'd like to thank Jon for starting 1 QB the last two weeks in must-win games and then changing his name to "r u surprised?" I guess not.

Kudos go to Miles for joining Clara, Concepcion, Saladin, Jim & Seri, Tim-eee, and Wilco on the league scrap heap. Especially with the most talented team on paper. Don't hang your head too much, 'cause I think Jon's going to have some extra room in his bank league come 2008.

Good luck to the four remaining players. I think we all know that Sammy's going to win.

In conclusion, in the words of Clara:

"Thank God this burly season is finally over."

p.s.
by: Bart Lombarchi (December 22 2007)
Dec 11

This may come as a surprise to many of you, but Miles didn't get his league fee in.

Thus, after proportionally subtracting the fee, the payout will be $45, $45, and $135.

~The Treasurer

...the wheel turns
by: Izzy Harkleman (Tourney Pick'em 08)
Dec 11

This year sucked. I hate all of you. I can't believe Johnny made the playoffs.

Ben = moping a hospital restroom

Bart = picking out new sacred underwear

Sammy = drinks too much, can't spell

Miles/Nick = who?

Johnny = homo

Abe = drinks too much, rollerblades on Venice boardwalk

Fedy = is wearing a blackberry earpiece right now, drinks too little

Jon = not in this league anymore

...Tally Pseudo-Brits ain't looking so bad now, huh.

Re: ...the wheel turns
by: Jon Garciaparra (r u surprised?)
Dec 11

ousted?! Fuck you guys. i have been in this league since year 3 of the PSC(pre-sinbad conviction) which makes at least 12 years of solid medioric results and at least a passing attempt at smack talk. i turn in my money on time and this is what i get? this is how you re-pay me?!! who else will so consistently come in the middle of the pack. Izzy is just pissed cuz i didnt show for the draft or start 2QBs and still did better than him for the last 2 years. it would behoove the lot of you to keep me in this league. all these Johnny come latelys with their witty quips (albeit grammatically questionable and horrendously spelled, buy a dictionary faggots) and nonsensical team names. i'll see you bitches at Altamonte. and i don't give a shit what you say i am crashing this fucking league next year.
testicular fortitude....OUT!

by the way have a merry christmas happy hanukkah and a joyous kwanzaa. seriously, we have to catch up when all of you are back it town.

Roster Update:

Feeling the pressure of his impending dismissal from the league, Jon inexplicably picks up a 2nd QB from waivers for his 5th place game.

Re: ...the wheel turns
by: Johnny Ryder (Abe is my Bitch)
Dec 11

Super- way to get a quarterback for the all important 5th place game Jon. Speaking of Johnny-come-lately..

Izzy- you, too, could be in the playoffs if you did not trade away your franchise for a saltine and a popsicle stick.

I will also see you fags at Altamonte--and I hope Bowen (or Boen, or Boan, who the fuck knows/cares) is there so I can rightfully claim my money.

Re: ...the wheel turns
by: Jon Garciaparra (December 21st)
Dec 11

i know it took me awhile to pick up that second QB. Since it became obvious i wasn't gonna win the championship this year i have been systematically stealing all of your ID's/and Credit Card numbers. SANTA is coming through big time for Jon Jr. this year. thanks to Izzy D Harkleman and his Capital One Disney Rewards Mastercard. Thanks to Bart Lombarchi and his Phillips 66 Gas Card,Santa is giving all of you guys slim jims, 24oz. Full Throttles (Sugar Free), and cigarette lighters shaped like penises . i would have said i have been systematically boning all of your moms but that probably wouldn't even phase you.
WHAT!? WHAT!? HA HA BANTER!

Re: ...the wheel turns
by: Jon Garciaparra (December 21st)
Dec 11

i also would have specifically made a Johnny's mom joke. but i think Izzy has a secret crush on her and it would probably hurt Izzy more than Johnny. if i wanted to hurt Johnny i would have made a joke about taking it in the backdoor from Mark, since that would make him the most jealous. and if i wanted to hurt Feds feelings i would have made a joke about marrying the first girl who he slept with, but that would also have been too easy.

Huge Stat Correction Update:

Yahoo makes a stat correction on Wednesday, changing a SF play from a Shaun Hill/ MIN interception to a Shaun Hill/ MIN sack-fumble recovery. Because Lombarchi had the Minnesota defense, he was credited for two extra points due to the additional sack.

These two extra points give him a victory over Abe by .31 points.

Fate is a cruel mistress.

Bart changes his team name to "Team Lazarus."

chchchchchchanges
by: Johnny Ryder (Abe is my Bitch)
Dec 12

HA!

Looks like Abe has been demoted.

I wish I could see his expression when he finds this out.

Welcome to the semi's Barchi.

HA!

Jeepers
by: Bart Lombarchi (December 22 2007)
Dec 12

Well, it seems Yahoo did a stat correction and added an extra sack to the MIN def for 2 pts.

That's pretty frickin' brutal, as far as non-genocidal, make believe fantasy shit goes.

Sorry, dude, I empathize.

inside Abe's mind....
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (January 7 2008)
Dec 12 10:08am

if janikowski only kicked one FG..
if shockey had more than 4 yds receiving...
if dayne rushed for more than 17 yds...
if I started cutler instead of kitna...
if I only had one more night with Margot...

dude bro..
by: Abe Harkleman (Denver Star RB)
Dec 12

Yahoo, you are the worst. Not only did I have to click on your burning hot news on a player only to have it say "the New England Post says Brady scores TD's" Thanks a lot Yahoo, very insightful analysis. Adding a sack bullshit, I yelled at the screen all MNF and was forced to watch that crappy game because you morons can't count.

You all can go fuck yourselves. I guarantee that I will get more pts this week than Bart or Johnny.

Revised Quarterfinal Scores

Quarterfinal Matchups	*Points:*

(1) Johnny Ryder
bye

(4) Brad Lombarchi	157.74
(5) Abe Harkleman	157.43

(3) Mark Federov	109.10
(6) Jon Garciaparra	167.03

(2) Sammy Walton
bye

Revised Standings

Quarterfinal	*Semi Finals*	*Finals*

(1) Johnny Ryder
bye
	(1) Johnny Ryder
	(4) Brad Lombarchi
(4) Brad Lombarchi
(5) Abe Harkleman

(3) Mark Federov
(6) Jon Garciaparra
	(3) Mark Federov
	(2) Sammy Walton
(2) Sammy Walton
bye

good ridance yardbird
by: Sammy Walton (headtogravelatlake)
Dec 12

my path to a cowboy-esque third title in four years is a lot more clear now. avoiding a pissed off brady/moss combo for a game against the always shit-talking miami dolphins is a good thing.
Fede you have little to no chance this weekend, about equal to that of me ever playing flag or touch football.
and way to go Jon, you broke the fucking 1st rule when dealing with Fed, never agree with him in situations that deal with risk of injury.
nice pussy for a QB at WVU there bri, to get hurt in botht hose games just sad.
Bart, i sure wouldn't mind seeing an upset this weekend.
and Johnny i don't see why you're so excited about your prospects on the Altamonte park field, i remember a head-lock and then a tackle in our only head to head action. i expect to see you next week, but again do you play romo in sacrifice of your true loyalties. you wont see k. curtis on my roster.
Harkleman, what a dissapointment, oh well maybe you can make up for it in durango. your bro is a pussy for not coming.
b hbhh k,k kbbyk - that's what Lori (or ruby) has to say to all of you.
when this season is done i want you to all go back and look at the team i started with, revisit some of the comments made about that team (Harkleman you specifically); go through my weekly lineups, trades (Ben you specifically-TO/brown for wayne/alexander) and waiver wire pickups (Abe you specifically- d. anderson) and just try and learn something.
by the way the cowboys are 12-1 going on 15-1. and the broncos SUCK.
finally i will be in Alb. on the 28th and 29th, so if we can wait for park football til then great, if not, better for all of you.
later losers.

by the way...
by: Sammy Walton (headtogravelatlake)
Dec 12

i only lost to yardbird, and Miles/Nick this season. so my team must smell the fear coming from you fags.

Re: by the way...
by: Johnny Ryder (Tondi's my Bitch?)
Dec 12

Your 'loyalty' argument is hopelessly stupid. Kevin Curtis' production in nowhere near Romo's. Cowboy or not, Im ridin' that mofo all the way to the championship. The game will be high scoring, and the Eagles will win...that way Romo and the cowpussies will be even more revved up for week 16 when I will pound you into submission.

As for Altamonte Football, you seem to forget the 6 TD's and utter dominance I exhibited. As long as I am not pussied out by fifo and his cronies, I will do it again this year.

Tell Lori (ruby) I say hi.

kisses.

you idiots
by: Mark Federov (ThrowsSammyIntoPole)
Dec 13

i find it amusing that everyone has jumped so hard on the anti-Jon bandwagon for not picking up a QB, as if a shit-can waiver wire pickup might've scored the 58 points he needed to overcome me last weekend. out of the league? far from it. Jon, i salute you for a valiant effort against a clearly superior team.

yardbird, your new nickname is 'the heartbreak kid'. way to waste a season with the two greatest offensive weapons in the history of the NFL. i'm not sure how you did it, but it's impressive nonetheless.

Sammy, nice team name but it won't help you this weekend. i'm sailing to the finals like it's 2003. pbbbhhhhhhhhbhhhhhhhbbbbbbhhhhht. that's what i have to say to Lori, same as to her dad at the lake.

Bart, nice job on post #244...i've never seen a better missive involving eric johnson, kolby smith, and the rockies. solid. i agree that Miles is on the Clara-Timmeee memorial scrap heap, but i say we revive concepcion. he was always good for a little shit talking at random points throughout the season, plus he paid his dues.

Ben....if, if, if? dayenu.

Johnny, i can't wait until you lose to me in the finals because donte' and wes go scoreless after belichick
Decides to pour on the running game against miami. i'll be starting maroney that week, thank you.

all yous who are out of the hunt, nice season. my advice next year is to try showing up to the fucking draft. or, if you're Izzy, try picking up some ACTIVE players. Harkleman, next time you trade your brother the world's best wide receiver for congressman steve largent, i'm going to complain to the commish. oh, wait, never mind.

in conclusion, i'd like to share a short transcript from the Mike & Mike in the morning show yesterday, with guest host and former bill, charger, cowboy, and jaguar marcellus wiley:

Mike: Who was the best Quarterback you ever played with?
Marcellus: I would have to say Doug Flutie.
Mike: Really? Why?
Marcellus: He was a winner.

see you on Sunday, bitches.

Re: by the way...
by: Sammy Walton (headtogravelatlake)
Dec 13

no you're stupid. and you have a crush on a boy, multiple boys.
with that being said, i can't believe you kept track of how many TD's you had, because the last basketball league i played in i caught myself tracking a triple-double, wierd. i threw a few td's that day though too.
with that being said, there are few things more certain than the cowboys blowing out the eagles so i wouldn't bench romo if he were mcnabb in an eagles uniform a few years ago, got it. plus i want to kick your ass in the finale anyways. it'll be something like that time i told you and mitch (i think) i could whip you ten times in a row at ping-pong and did. something like that.
Lori's taking a nice long nap so let me take on Fedi a little.
if you ever bring up flag football again, i'm not speaking to you as and adult anymore, but rather as that little kid in Mikey's tennis class who used to threaten to kick him in the "pee-gull". it's gonna be hard to watch lee evans have one of his 4 catches, 175 yards, 4 td games this weekend, against the second worst pass defense (i believe), in his hometown of cleveland, for the sixth and final playoff spot. but unlike faggot/traitor Johnny i bet you'll cheer him.
rams are going back to the glory years with Fairchild and Kerr (defensive coordinator), name like Jony porter, kevin mcdougale, Miles newton, and moses moreno ring a bell for any of you. didn't think so the lobos were insignificant back then. but byu/air force/cu/missouri/wyoming fans are shitting in their pants right now.
Harklemans suck.
i'm not going to voice my opinion on Jon as i entered the league after him, but man you've got to play a QB.
Miles and Nick tried, a little. can't we just drop it to 8 anyways.
later. 3 titles in 4 years sound good to any of you. just one probably does, right.

Re: by the way...
by: Jon Garciaparra (Fedi's knee/thumb)
Dec 13

Although i do appreciate the restraint, you have free reign to talk as much shit as you want. however, you do have a slight advantage in that all of OUR non-FANTASY football accomplishments revolve around a career of some sort(Fed- MUSIC, Johnny- Teaching, Harkleman the elder- avoiding a job, Harkleman the younger- designing my boy's next pair of shoes Lombarchi- pleasing Dr. Lombarchi, Ben fixing poor gait mechanics of aging baby boomers, etc.) while you keep bringing up old shit. i would probably have faired better this season if my time was spent hangin out with my kid and then mixing drinks at the best mexican restaurant in Wellington.

i am cool with pushing football back a few days whatever results in a higher turnout.

proposed $$ amendment for 2008
by: Jon Garciaparra (Fedi's knee/thumb)
Dec 13

i know you guys have a hard time throwing in the green but i think some cost needs to be associated with transactions.
$1.00/transaction. $$$ gets added to the pot at the end of the season.
This way some of you transaction happy managers (Fed, Sam i am looking at you) might think 2x before throwin players around like this is some kind of fantasy world.

just gonna put that out there.
might make it more interesting.

Re: proposed $$ amendment for 2008
by: Johnny Ryder (Tondi's my Bitch.)
Dec 13

So, what you are saying is that you should be rewarded for your laziness? (insert Mexican joke here). While dubious, I would go for a .50 fee, if and only if, a $5 charge is instituted anytime a team takes the field without a full roster.

Just my thoughts.

Re: proposed $$ amendment for 2008
by: Jon Garciaparra (Fedi's knee/thumb)
Dec 13

i am amenable to that. mexican jokes welcome. as long as gay jokes are still okay. ooohh burn!
i dont ask for special treatment.

Re: proposed $$ amendment for 2008
by: Mark Federov (ThrowsSammyIntoPole)
Dec 14

the real solution to the waiver wire problem is to play in a league where you have a limited budget and you have to 'bid' for waiver wire pickups. i don't know if yahoo offers it but i think nfl.com does. i'm in favor of that next year, if people are down for an evolution.

Sammy, you little bitch, i distinctly remember hearing you whine 'you've gotta be shitting me' last winter as i shed you and several other tacklers for the 3rd or 4th time that afternoon on the way to my 8th or 9th touchdown of the day (passing included). it was after Izzy threw his hissy fit, but before i scored the winning touchdown by juking pat grange out of his shorts on a bootleg scramble. i'm trying to protect YOUR dumb ass and everyone else's by suggesting flag, not at all attempting to get out of a situation that suits me quite well, thanks. i love beating you at tackle football more than pretty much anything in the world, so if you want to keep getting rolled and add getting hurt to the process, well, i guess i'm all for it. but flag is smarter.

see you sunday, losers.

flutie

Re: proposed $$ amendment for 2008
by: Jon Garciaparra (Fedi's knee/thumb)
Dec 14

if only you guys would use your genius level memories for good instead of evil...or lameness

Computer Hackery
by: Abe Harkleman (Denver Star RB)
Dec 14

I still have seen no proof on why the scores were changed, on a Wed. To the best of my knowledge Bart doesn't work and thusly has plenty of time to figure out how to break into the Yahoo FF system and convienitly change his score the exact amount of pts for the win. 2 pts! to win by .3! I would challenge you to a dual if this was the old west, I guess we will have to wrestle in front of Gekos on
Dec 26th.

First score-gate then the Broncos lose, I am having a tough week. When I still get more pts than both Bart/ Johnny this week, I call serious bullshit. Brady/Moss at the Jets then for the final v. Miami. I smell conspiracy.

Re: proposed $$ amendment for 2008
Reward laziness?? No. You should get an damn metal for most waivers. If anything I think next year we only have a 3 person bench therefore not allowing certain spotty hairy dudes slurp up all the mediocre QB's. No fee for waivers, out.
_AP

Re: proposed $$ amendment for 2008
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 14

As I'm sure Ben can attest to, the idea of collecting money after the season is over for waiver moves is laughable.

We can either explore Mark's nfl.com idea or utilize a system where there is a waiver freeze from sunday to tuesday morning. In that period of time people put in their waiver adds and then the computer grants them depending on what each team's waiver wire number is going into the week. The fox leagues offer this and Yahoo may even have this as an option.

This won't help people like Jon that only check their teams every third week, however.

Anyway, let's discuss this in July.

When were you homersexuals thinking about playing this year's Christmas game?

Re: Computer Hackery
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 14

Whichever Yahoo Sports intern was tracking the MIN-SF game fucked up and credited Shaun Hill with an INT instead of a sack and fumble lost.

You can see the evidence by clicking on the players tab and then on the stat corrections link.

Re: Computer Hackery
by: Izzy Harkleman (Tourney Pick'em 08)
Dec 14

Agreed.

Our league up here has a 5 player bench, which seems to work pretty well. You can still play the waiver wire at 2am while cruising the 'Casual Encounters' section of Austin Craigslist, but you better think long and hard about picking up Armani Toomer for the fifth time.

It also leaves plenty of options in free agents for whoever replaces Jon next year.

...I'm also glad that my hissyfit at ALTAMONTE PARK FOOTBALL lives in lore. If I am to be remembered for one thing, I want it to be my magnificent hissyfits.

Homos.

Re: Izzy's Hissyfit at Altamonte
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 14

In your defense, it was a fairly complicated blitzing scheme.

Re: Re: Computer Hackery
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 14 12:18pm

I think we should add an extra bench spot, which would raise the total to 8. This way everyone can draft their team and then sit on it, because all the main positions are backed up.

More importantly, this will cut down on waiver activity and give some leeway for the multiple injuries/bye-week bullshit that always comes along.

~Team Lazarus

Altamonte football????
by: Jon Garciaparra (Fedi's knee/thumb)
Dec 17

when is it? flag or tackle makes no nevermind, i just need to know so i can make up a fake appointment to put on my calendar so i can have an excuse to not be in the office.

Semifinal Playoff Update:

Johnny's championship run falls apart when Romo scores only 7 points. Lombarchi's team goes on to win by 30 pts.

In the other semifinal game, Sammy wins by the score of 110.40 to 105.67 behind 30 points from the New England defense and 17 points from his kicker.

Eagles 10 Cowfucks 6. Bitches.
by: Johnny Ryder (EAGLES)
Dec 17

Sometimes you can draft it right, waiver wire it right, start it right (most of the time) and still get the short end of the Tony-Romo-is-a-closet-<expletive> stick.

Its just how it goes.

You truly look into your own fantasy soul when your favorite teams win is predicated on your fantasy loss.

I'll take a classic Eagles win over Satan's team any day of the week.

Walton- They sure looked like the cowpussies of old (circa 2000-2007). They'll make it to the second round of the playoffs, then lose. You know it, I know it, hell, even Lori (ruby) knows it.

Semifinal Scores

Semifinal Matchups	*Points:*

(1) Johnny Ryder	129.34
(4) Brad Lombarchi	161.73

(3) Mark Federov	105.67
(2) Sammy Walton	110.40

Standings After Semifinals

Quarterfinal	*Semi Finals*	*Finals*

(1) Johnny Ryder
bye
	(1) Johnny Ryder
	(4) Brad Lombarchi
(4) Brad Lombarchi
(5) Abe Harkleman		(4) Brad Lombarchi
		(2) Sammy Walton
(3) Mark Federov
(6) Jon Garciaparra
	(3) Mark Federov
	(2) Sammy Walton
(2) Sammy Walton
bye

Message Boards - Championship Week

razza frazza
by: Mark Federov (ThrowsSammyIntoPole)
Dec 18

well fuck, what a bunch of bullshit. i'll give you this though, Walton - if i can't beat 113 points, i don't deserve to win. Bart - good luck in the finals.

as re: Altamonte football, i'm really, no joke at all, not ready to play football with my knee. but i'll certainly show up to throw around and/or ref and watch you guys hurt yourselves. earliest i could do it is Dec 27th; i think Sam comes the 28th. maybe we should consider 12/29 as our day - if everyone else is around. who's in for football on the 29th at Altamonte and bowling that night?

Bart Wins
by: Abe Harkleman (Denver Star RB)
Dec 18

Bart seems like an unstoppable machine with a lack luster bunch of mediocre players yet somehow making a
Decent team.

Sammy ekks by with stellar play by his.. K? 17pts. I don't know what pagan god you pray to but when your K gets more pts than either of your QB's you probably shouldn't be in the finals. Better worry about Warner at ATL. Winning by your NE D is lame.

Johnny with a bitter sweet loss. Phi plays their hearts out to clinch their non playoff spot and has to watch Witten ruin his FF team.

Fed, what a tumble. Sitting on top of the world and crushes under the pressure from Sam once again. At least you have your Sox, or wait that's baseball and totally lame.

Go Bart.

Re: Eagles 10 Cowfucks 6. Bitches.
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 18

With the exception of B-Will's championship run last year with his LaDanian juggernaut, this shit's always a coin flip.

Re: Bart Wins
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 18

I appreciate the support of you and Fed, but I think we all know that Sammy's going to win.

My only hope is for a whiteout in Cincy next weekend. Otherwise it's going to be one of those 80 pt. Derek Anderson/Kellen "I'm a soldier" Winslow days.

My prediction:

Sammy 182 - Team Lazarus 147

demerit Lombarchi
by: Izzy Harkleman (Tourney Pick'em 08)
Dec 18

No humility around here. If you can't muster some outlandish threats and bravado you don't deserve that championship.

I had Tavaris Jackson as an integral part of my team this year and I was still threatening carnal violation on Johnny's mom each and every week.

That's how you do it. Son.

P.S. Ben: ouch.

re: ouch
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (January 7 2008)
Dec 18

This is for you Fed and every other piece of shit Michigan fan out there......

Screw Rodriguez,
Screw Michigan,
Screw the Red Sox,
and screw every other team that wants to buy themselves championships......
and just as an aside.....screw Dave Wannstedt and his mustache

Lombarchi, I think we have this discussion every year....talk some shit for Christ sake....you're in the championship. I have one of the worst teams, and I would have beat Walton last week.

Re: demerit Lombarchi
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 19

Listen to the peanut gallery...

Aren't you guys late for your tee time?

Championship Game Update:

Thanks to a big game from Roethlisberger and Willie Parker's fractured leg, Lombarchi takes a 36.04 point lead into the Monday night game between the Chargers and the Broncos.

Sammy needs a big night from Philip Rivers in order to win the championship.

Last word
by: Abe Harkleman (Denver Star RB)
Dec 24

Fuck you Johnny, I guess no AP this week.
Fuck you Fed, Bills stink see you at football.
Fuck you Bart for beating me by .3 pts.
Fuck you Bart for not starting Warner against the ATL D.
Fuck you Bart because I am going to get more pts then you and Sam.
Fuck you Bart for winning and not calling Sammy a loser.

Wait you say Sam could still beat Bart by a huge game by Rivers? Not against my Broncos, not on MNF. Cutler would beat Romo up, and his little GF.

Later losers.
_AH

Championship Game Update:

Abe was correct, as Rivers only mustered 18.6 points.

Lombarchi wins the trophy and Walton loses in the championship game for the 2nd year running.

First off...
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 25

Merry Christmas you assortment of sad sons-of-bitches and magnificent bastards. Playing fantasy football with you guys is always a pleasure and never a chore.

On to the vitriol...

Message from the league champion...
by: Bart Lombarchi (Team Lazarus)
Dec 26

Well, frankly, that's how you do it. When the computer/Fed deals you shite, you trade, waiver wire and scrap your way to the playoffs. Then from there you take a deep breath and blow out all three of your playoff opponents.

Game, set, match.

Seriously, look at my original roster. Somebody? Anybody?

Ok, last words then.

Abe - You do realize you would have lost in the 2nd round, right?

Mark - Audacious draft strategy, man. Especially the part where you handicapped yourself by only selecting QBs that qualify as pieces of crap. Respect.

Jon - Najeh Davenport would make an excellent pickup this week.

Miles - Your white participation ribbon can be picked up at the league offices at any time.

Nick - Not a terrible effort for your first season and, in your defense, Houston really is humid.

Sammy - You had a good run, man. Though, might be time to hang up the mouse and get into broadcasting before you totally tarnish your legacy. Just saying. Anyway, see you at the super secret clubhouse that only league winners know about.

Ben - Dude, I tried to warn you off that Ronnie Brown - Terrell trade. So, does the portraiture artist from the pantheon of champions call you or do I need to contact him?

Jaime - Regular season points and standings leader is nothing to scoff at. It was a good showing, like the 1998 Vikings and the 2005 Colts. Everyone remembers those teams, right?

Izzy - Your team was the fantasy football equivalent of the 1994 NY Knicks. No, that's being too kind. I'll think of a better analogy...

Anyway, it's been fun. I'll be in Burma for the next 6 months, living off of my winnings, but will check my email periodically if you need to contact me.

Warmest Regards,

The League Champion

p.s. Cue the Queen.