Week 05


Noteworthy Happenings in Week 05

Travis Henry allegedly tests positive for marijuana.

Manny Ramirez hits a 3-run walk-off homerun to put the BoSox up 2-0 in their ALDS with the Angels.

Notable Waiver Drops

Player Adds or Drops Owner:
     
Drop Hines Ward Bart Lombarchi
Drop Wes Welker Ben Wiltonsburg

 

Message Boards

NOTICE OF LEAGUE OFFICE INVESTIGATION
by: Izzy Harkleman (Business Time)
Oct 2


Notice:

The Macao Sports Gaming Board is reviewing last week's game between Fed 'Ron Popeil' and Bart 'The Hindenberg'.

Evidence implies collusion between the parties (or abject incompetence by Bart).

The Hindenberg is asked to explain his decision not to start a kicker, nor utilize the waver wire to add any players. Bye weeks were clearly a factor, but Jon is even using the wire for god's sake. The result allowed Fedy to stay undefeated and impacts the sanctity of the league (even more than Johnny's mom being a huge whore).

The league office inquires if Fed at least gave Bart a reach around while he was fucking him in the ass (like Johnny's mom)?

C'mon Bart, you're better than that. Don't let a week of Mark's TCA-level taunting bully you into rolling over so easily (like Johnny's mom).

Bart.Bart.Bart.Bart.Bart.
by: Abe Harkleman (Henry's 9 babies)
Oct 2


Firstly let me congratulate myself for not only beating Sammy good but also being the Premiere Player of the week. I called Jackie from the bar just to rub it in.

If I have to be in a league where cheater Federov is undefeated I may need to help you assholes and especially Bart out with your teams. Not only did Johnny actually earn more pts than Fed, Fed got the least amount of pts for the win.

Bart no kicker, interesting choice. Lets say for instance you got Morton Anderson in FA he got 14pts. That is more then Harrison (who played the Broncos who not only are the 2nd best pass defense in the league we also put people in the hospital) adding with Harrison, both your other WR's (one being loser Holt) and your TE almost gets as many points as Morton scored.

But you say you can't fill your amazing bench with any of those worthless kickers? You have 5, 5! players that scored ZERO points, shit only 2 of them are on bye weeks. Not that you shouldn't just put Brees into free agency anyways.

Superduper playing! I don't know if the air is too thin up there? You aren't from NM so you can't blame lazy New Mexican syndrome. Fed can't be winning this league. Step up bitches.

Izzy=Bald
Bart=lazy Oregonian syndrome
Nick=humidity expert
Ben=moonshiner
Sam=pro sheep killer/loser
Jon=bank teller
Johnny=wounded chest
Bowen=Bronco fan and all around good guy
Fed=current winner only because some sort of pact with satan and slipping the money holder some extra $.

So it is up to me and Bowen to take this spottly hairy dude down. Fine I'll just do it myself.

_out

Re: NOTICE OF LEAGUE OFFICE INVESTIGATION & Bart.Bart...
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Oct 2

01 - If the game was closer I would have added a kicker.

02 - The brothers Harkleman are horse's asses.

Re: I am that I am.
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Oct 2


Apparently the fantasy Gods don't like hubris, either.

Fed
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Oct 2


Check your email. There's a trade offer for Lamont Jordan.

-Spoiler Alert-

My offer is a used piece of chewing gum.

Re: NOTICE OF LEAGUE OFFICE INVESTIGATION
by: Izzy Harkleman (Fed's Fiancée)
Oct 3

...yeah, like the guy in the $5,000 suit cares what you think about him, Lombarchi.

Re: NOTICE OF LEAGUE OFFICE INVESTIGATION
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Oct 3

Only $5,000, eh? Should have held on to the animation rights to Mr. Bananagrabber.

team name + frerotte= Johnny's demise
by: Sammy Walton (the bear from tekken)
Oct 3


i decided to save pavel and spectre for the playoffs, can't bring out the big guns too early. i would pile on you for the embarrassment that is you eaglets team, but i know what it's like when it's time for a QB to move on and a team to under go a major rebuilding process. but they suck and UT sucks, you can't lose to a non-criminal KSU team two years in a row.
Fedi footbal is a real sport and those others you mentioned are not, so therefore they do not count. plus nothing from before my reign of domination on this league began is considered either, you can't carry your minor league ERA up to the majors with you. dallas 45- bills 10.
Ben you're not exactly holding up your end of the bargain on the front range domination thing, maybe moving to close to CSU has rubbed off on you. quit sissy slap fighting with Nick and concentrate. my team is too bad to do this on my own.
yardbird you got lucky this weedend. my poor recievers combined for i think a total of 10 points, maybe. i'll go ahead and shotgun a beer, and i'm a pretty good distance aqay from you so don't qorry about the retailiation.
Harkleman and Bart sorry about the inevitable embarrasment the ducks caused you guys this weekend but i'm sure it's not surprise, at least you don't have a 11-game losing streak on your hands. and you two need to get to trading off you teams in true bottom feeder fashion, cause it is not turning around. thanks for poll though Izzy, nothing like a good old slap on the back..
CSU 24 - SDSU 23
oh and Johnny Abe and i are putting out a hearing impaired version of our news letter next week, which also includes a how to catch a can/get the gay out of me manual. we'll zip it right over to ya.

Re: team name + frerotte= Johnny's demise
by: Sammy Walton (the bear from tekken)
Oct 3


get the gay out me manual? responses:
yardbird: slams a bud to it
Fede/Johnny: nervous about their upcomimg nuptuals and their friends response
Bart: golf claps
Izzy: pisses himself and calls Pat Krugerto confirm what pissing oneself entails
Jon: probably doesn't notice
Ben: instead of slaming a beer, drives by folsom field and spits at it
Nick/Miles: think back to when ben and i had a field day with clovis folks
you are all welcome

Re: team name + frerotte= Johnny's demise
by: Johnny Ryder (The Move)
Oct 4


1. Walton- stop letting Lori post on the message board. We all would appreciate it.

2. Walton- even though 3 of my best players are off this week I will put you in the move and render you paralyzed this weekend. Your amazing streak of winning with waiver wire ingenuity and duct tape ends this week.

3. Everyone else- what is all this talk about #1 bud drinker and shotgunning beers? Last I checked you all were asleep like little babies when it counted at the Butte. Although the Waltons did make a feeble effort to keep up with me, it was in vain...much like the rest of your fantasy seasons. I simply outclass every one of you on both fronts.

4. Harkleman/Nick- When I play you I plan to just start Tony Romo. That should at least make it a game. Your teams are monumentally horrible.

5. Fed- I cannot wait until Stallworth puts up 100+ yards and 2 TD's. That may have been the worst waiver drop ever. Moss is going to attract more attention than Nick at a gay parade and Stallworth is going to capitalize. Mark my words. It will be this weekend or the next.

6. Jon- lucky thing for you the BWest was a late scratch for the Sun night game. Unlucky for the rest of you he is still the #3 RB even after missing that game. One week off and the eagles fly again.

me likee the weed....
by: Sammy Walton (the bear from tekken)
Oct 5


and so does travis henry, and so does my fantasy team, and so will my third title.
later losers, comin to get ya Fed.

re: Money Update
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Oct 5


I'm kind of with Abe.

Regular season points champion should get some cash.

$150 to champion
$50 regular season champion
$50 season points champion

Fuck 2nd, 3rd place. I mean I wouldn't know since I won last year, but do you really care if you win $50 for coming in second?

My only other vote, is $250 for the champ....why not?

I'm in it to win it....

Re: re: Money Update
by: Nick Wentworth (Jay DeMerit Rules)
Oct 5


Im on board for points, record and playoff champ money.
That way you could win all of it, or just some.

Seriously.
by: Mark Federov (MANNY. RAMIREZ.)
Oct 6


HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. Did you people see that??? I haven't been so excited about a baseball game since 2004.

Oh, and as an afterthought. Did I mention that Johnny has a keychain that says, 'Go Dance"? I don't believe that I did. I just thought that everyone might want to know that Johnny's actual keychain, which he actually carries every day of his actual life, says "Go Dance". No joke. I think it has something to do with the Hansons, but I'm not sure.

And...the floor is open.

Re: Seriously.
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Oct 6


great shit last night....don't think Manny is on the team for his glove though.

I've never been this excited about baseball either....maybe that's because I'm going to watch the Rockies sweep the Phillies tonight, and I've got my tickets for the NLCS already. Can't say Rockies/Diamondbacks has the same allure as Red Sox/Yankees.....but it's fucking baseball in October, I don't care.

Red Sox/Rockies World Series? Anything is possible. I imagine Fed and park will be visiting colorado soon if that happens. Fed, I owe you for ACL. Izzy, I owe you for letting me bang your mom when your dad goes out of town (sorry Abe, I didn't want you to hear that). I figure a World Series ticket outta do it.

Johnny, you're a <clever slur that rhymes a chum's name, that he could possibly recognize>.

Week 05 Fantasy Football Scores

Teams:
Points:
   
Wiltonsburg 119.54
Lombarchi 138.33
   
I. Harkleman 80.93
Federov 119.23
   
A. Harkleman 102.34
Nick 85.5
   
Ryder 122.33
Sammy 151.34
   
Miles 126.87
Garciaparra 145

 

Standings After Week 05

Team Wins Losses
     
Mark Federov 5 0
Jon Garciaparra 4 1
Johnny Ryder 3 2
Miles Bowen 3 2
Sammy Walton 3 2
Abe Harkleman 3 2
Brad Lombarchi 2 3
Ben Wiltonsburg 1 4
Nick Wentworth 1 4
Izzy Harkleman 0 5

 

<--Week 04

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