Week 04


Noteworthy Happenings in Week 04

West Virginia, Oregon, Texas, and, of course, CSU all lose.

Deuce Mcallister and Cadillac Williams both suffer season ending knee injuries.

Notable Waiver Adds

None of note...

 

Message Boards

Fuck Texas..
by: Abe Harkleman (Henry's 9 babies)
Sep 25


Fuck Eagles gay jerseys..
Fuck Westbrook..
Fuck snooze for being premium player of the week with Curtis on his bench..
and fuck all the rest of you..

To My Jewish and Unitarian Brethren
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 25


Yardbird, it's too bad we didn't wait a week to make that deal. Your QBs would have rung up a combined -.37 pts. I'm not sure at what point Mark Bulger and Drew Brees morphed into Marques Tuiososopo, but I'll be damned if it's not going to be a fun ride.

Federov, you're going to take such a beating next week, it's going to take me a couple hours to atone for it next Yom Kippur. Keep your phone line open.

Sammy, I assume by the frantic nature of your posts, that you've been swept into some kind of weird, popcorn eating, drug-laden, Kabbalah cult. I don't have anything to add beyond that, other than your family misses you and would like you to return home.

Wiltonsburg, don't look back, something might be gaining on you.

I am that I am.
by: Johnny Ryder (YHWH)
Sep 25


My fantasy disciples:

Ehyeh asher ehyeh.

Trade Announcement:

Nick, in need of a QB not owned by Federov, decides to roll the dice with Jason Campbell. Much to the dismay of Fed.

Nick trades : Bart trades:
   
Torry Holt Jason Campbell
Jason Witten Greg Jennings

 

 

What??? Veto.
by: Mark Federov (Ron Popeil)
Sep 26


Nick, are you serious, you're trying to trade Torry Holt away for Jason Campbell? I offered you like 3 trades involving Chad Pennington, and this is what you came up with? Jason Campbell has 12 career NFL TDs and a QB rating this season of 69. He has scored 49 points this year in FF, in 3 games. Chad Pennington has scored 49 FF points in 2 games and has a QB rating of 121, not to mention that he's a proven NFL player. What are you fucking smoking? Did Bart offer to 'forgive' your $25 debt for a little action on the side? Because trust me, Ben gets the side action every winter on his trip up to Utah, and he says it's not that good. I urge a veto, is all I can say. Trading away Holt and Witten for two nobodies does not make for fair trade. Chris Martin would be very disappointed in you.

Bart is the dark demon of this year's league...after his lopsided swap w/Izzy and now this bullshit deal, I can't believe any of you are still crying about my draft. Mark my words, this is sinister. And HE's handling our money? Insanity.

Meanwhile, speaking of insane, after two weeks back in school Johnny's posts have gotten so esoteric that even someone who's living 20 feet from him doesn't understand a single word. Clearly, there is only one fantasy football leader with a chance of keeping his marbles intact all season.

And you're reading his post right now.

Re: What??? Veto.
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 26


Federov, I can't say I like how condescending you get when you're offering trades or analyzing other people's trades, but, Goddamnit, I respect it.

it's only week 4....
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Sep 26


and I have Derrick Mason, Wes Welker, and Brian Griese in my starting lineup.

Looks like I'm going to have to work pretty hard this year to repeat.....but I guess it will be all that much sweeter when I do.

Here's hoping Romo, McNabb, Tomlinson, Gates, Palmer, Steve Smith, and all your other fantasy studs tear their ACL's in the coming weeks, because I'll be picking up their backups as soon as I can.

Fed, you're a bitch. Stop your stupid analysis of everyone's players. Nick is an idiot, but I could have told you that when the guy decided to move to Houston, Texas. Kudos Lombarchi for a killer trade. I can't fault you for making the offer. I can still fault Fed for being a biiaaaatch on draft day though.

I may be 1-3 after this weekend, but it's how you finish not how you start.....ask Jon about last year, he knows.

antwaan randle el
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Sep 26


the ike hilliard of the 2007 season1

Re: What??? Veto.
by: Nick Wentworth (Jay DeMerit Rules)
Sep 26


First of all Fed, Chad Pennington is going to get hurt in no longer than a week and a half. Jason Campbell is playing better and better each game. Greg Jennings is going to be a stud.
But the main reason I didn't want to trade with you is cuz you didn't get me laid at ACL. What a joke for a concert.
You and Chris Martin go live in Serbia and Montenegro you communists.

Re: What??? Veto.
by: Johnny Ryder (YHWH)
Sep 26


Now that is what I'm talking about!

Welcome to the league Nick.

Re: What??? Veto.
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 26


(Marv Albert Voice) - YESSSSS!!!

Right on, Nick. Welcome aboard.

Re: What??? Veto.
by: Izzy Harkleman (Business Time)
Sep 26


Hey Sammy, what did it feel like to watch Lori drink her first Miller Lite?

I bet a lot like reading Nick's post this afternoon. A lot like that.

...from "hey its humid in Houston" to randomy references to three things at once that call into question someone's sexual orientation

...you work so hard, its a nice feeling when you realize your kids are going to be okay in life.

Anyone know when the memorial service for Miles is? When Jon calls you out for lack of attention, its time to pack it in.

Reminder: ESPN GameDay in Eugene this Saturday. Look for me, I'll be the one in yellow.

oh really
by: Mark Federov (Ron Popeil)
Sep 27


Ben, of all the people to criticize me and my trades I thought you would be the last - after I saved your season by gifting you delhomme for a player that has produced 29, count 'em, 29 total yards this year.

I'm telling you, Bart is exerting some sort of sinister mind control over you people. Sure, he's starting Ron Dayne this weekend, which is pretty much the equivalent of activating Izzy Harkleman as your running back. But he has now acquired last year's MVP finalist, the starting RB for the Giants in the second half, and one of the best receivers in the league - for essentially nothing. Watch your back, Lombarchi. Johnny has holy water and he's not afraid to use it.

Anyway, I understand everyone's bitterness. It's always lonely at the top. And Montenegro is quite lovely this time of year.

Aborted Trade Announcement:

Nick and Ben agree on a trade for a shortly thereafter injured Deuce Mcallister. Prior to trade completion, Nick drops Deuce to waivers, which negates the trade. Bickering ensues.

 

 

Unsportsmanlike Conduct -- Noel Davina
by: Nick Wentworth (Jay DeMerit Rules)
Sep 27


WTF Ben, you can't just propose a trade, let me accept it, then just renege on it. You and your gimmick offense can shove it up your inbred asses.

I hate idiots
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Sep 27


Nick, if you drop Deuce Mcallister to waivers, you can't trade him. Keep him on your team, and the trade would have gone through. Think about it buddy.

Fed, let's analyze your team.

Hasselback...not gonna last an entire season without injury

Palmer (ok so you have one good player, I'll give you that)

Burress, severe ankle sprain.

Chambers and White (their QB's are Harrington and Green...enough said)

Rudi Johnson (being outscored by Chris Brown, and that guy's on waivers)

Lamont Jordan (see Hasselback)

Antonio Gates (speaking of getting a steal for a trade, did you have to let your sister sleep with Walton to get him to agree to that trade?)

My point is, your team is much worse than your record shows. As far as Lee Evans goes, it's not my fault you're a Bills fan. If I recall, you're the one that offered me the trade (with all your expert analysis on why I should accept it).

Nick, good shit man, see if you can teach Miles to type so that guy can start posting.

and Lombarchi
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Sep 27


not starting a kicker this week?

is that hard to let go of Huard?

and Harkleman
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Sep 27


don't worry, I'll be watching on Saturday. I can't miss seeing Corso showered with Lattes when he puts the Cal Bears mascot on his head.

go lobos

and Ryder
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Sep 27


texas sucks

Izzy as RB...?
by: Izzy Harkleman (Business Time)
Sep 27


Fedy. We ALL know that I am either a lock-down corner, or a west coast dump-and-dink QB. I am, nor never will be, a running back.

Screw you.

Ben, please explain the bait and switch you pulled on Nick? This league tolerates a lot of tomfoolery, but we have limits.

Re: west coast dump-and-dink QB
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 27


Does that include slamming the ball down in a tizzy fit, because you couldn't figure out our corner blitzing scheme?

I kid, I kid. I would have done the same thing if I had the Kruger bros. blocking for me.

Re: and Lombarchi
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 27


Kickers are overrated.

Now, what's this I hear about you having trouble with your TPS Reports?

Re: oh really
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 27


Yes, yes, sinister me. I'm hoarding Rams players. Fantastic. What a brilliant tactical move to go along with my drafting of Maurice Jones-Drew and my trade for the mercurial Drew Brees.

Machiavellian, really.

Someone please contact the Illuminati. My embossed, membership card seems to have gotten lost in the mail.

Well, gotta go, I'm late for a meeting at the Masonic Temple.

Re: oh really
by: Jon Garciaparra (testicular fortitude)
Sep 27


damn...it must be a slow day at perfect10.com. you bastards are some posting motherfuckers.
trade!
waiver!
Fed has too many qb's !!!
I have message board turrets.
Shit COCK BALLS.

Money Update
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 28


Miles, Nick and Sammy still owe.

As far as a money breakdown, what do you guys want to do?

Maybe something like:

$150 First Place
$50 Second Place
$25 Third Place
$25 Regular Season Champ

Thoughts?

All Time Records
by: Izzy Harkleman (Business Time)
Sep 28


Average finish in the common era (since all seven "main" players have been in action):

1.3 Sammy (2nd, 2006. 1st, 2005. 1st, 2004) Thank god you had a kid

4.3 Barto (3rd, 2006. 5th, 2005. 5th, 2004) surprising

4.6 Ben (1st, 2006. 4th, 2005. 9th, 2004) one lucky year

5.0 Izzy (6th, 2006. 2nd, 2005. 7th, 2004) not showing off, not falling behind

8.3 Fedy (10th, 2006. 7th, 2005. 12th, 2004) ouch

8.6 Jon (5th, 2006. 10th, 2005. 11th, 2004) sounds about right

9.3 Johnny (8th, 2006. 7th, 2005. 13th*, 2004) *Johnny did not play in 2004, but seems roughly equvalent to Clara

Discuss.

Re: Money Update
by: Abe Harkleman (Henry's 9 babies)
Sep 28


150 for tournament winner-
100 for most regular season pts.-

What is this 2nd and 3rd bullshit. This head to head system is pointless, fairest way is to give the highest regular pts leader some $. Could be the regular season leader or not, highest pts. proved that week in and week out he had the best team.

Watch the Broncos win this week at RCA.

_AP

Re: Money Update
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 29


Since we're a head-to-head league, I don't think points are as important as overall record.

Personally, I like what we did last year with the 1st-2nd-3rd payday.

What do you other hosers think?

Re: All Time Records
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Sep 29


Ahh, all the good memories of Saladin getting screwed by Commissioner initiated, midweek scoring adjustments and the Bowen-esque participation of John and his wife.

Good times, good times.

re: WVU
by: Ben Wiltonsburg (Noel Devine)
Sep 29


..........damn.

or, as Nick Wentworth would say, "shucky darn, we gave it a great effort and came up short. At least the weather in colorado sure is nice, and Fed is still a swell guy."

go lobos

Re:Texas
by: Johnny Ryder (YHWH)
Sep 30


I am not going to pretend that texas got screwed, or they played well and deserved to win. They looked like a team that should be ranked around 15-20, which is probably where they will end up. They are not that good, but, fortunately, neither is anyone else in the Big 12.

As for all-time records, all I have to do is look to the business world for comfort...'past returns do not ensure future success'.

I am currently kicking all y'alls asses. I couldn't give a f--- what happened the last two years.

Bow down bitches.

J

Re: All Time Records
by: Mark Federov (Ron Popeil)
Sep 30


personally, i'm offended at the omission of my #1 finishes in 2003 fantasy football, 2004 fantasy baseball, and 2006 fantasy world cup . especially fantasy world cup.

i like money for 1 & 2 plus the regular season head-to-head winner, though it doesn't really matter to me since i'll be winning both the regular season title and the tourney.

oh, and speaking of tourneys - Izzy, in your revised historical standings, don't forget to add in another Federov victory in the 2006 NCAAs. remember that one?

Still the Kings of Sterner Drive4,

Fed

RE: Cadillac
by: Izzy Harkleman (Business Time)
Oct 1


The knee injury suffered Sunday by Buccaneers running back Cadillac Williams was "a potentially career-threatening torn patellar tendon."

You shall be hearing from my aforementioned attorneys, Lombarchi. You dago shyster.

Re: RE: Cadillac
by: Bart Lombarchi (The Hindenburg)
Oct 1


Again, if you don't want to find Matt Jones' head in your bed, use the less offensive derogatory term, Wop Charlatan.

Sue me? Hey, you kicked the tires on the Cadillac. More like you'll be hearing from my attorney concerning your failure to disclose Drew Brees' catastrophic brain injury.

What a doozy of a fantasy football season, eh? Oh, well. At least we can fall back on the fact that both our teams were computer drafted.

Wait, what?

Re: RE: Cadillac
by: Mark Federov (Ron Popeil)
Oct 1


see, Izzy? what did i tell you?? there's some dark, shadowy stuff going on in utah, and it's not just the FLDS.2

thank god Bart's team started out the year with mostly 4A high school players, or i might've actually had to wait until carson palmer played to see if i was going to beat him this weekend.

red sox v. yankess in the alcs again???

Minutia

1Ike Hilliard has been added and dropped more times in the history of our league than any other player.

2Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

 

Week 04 Fantasy Football Scores

Teams:
Points:
   
I. Harkleman 92.77
Nick 123.2
   
A. Harkleman 165.77
Sammy 115.04
   
Ryder 114.6
Garciaparra 134.5
   
Wiltonsburg 106.67
Miles 158.36
   
Lombarchi 76.87
Federov 119.23

 

Standings After Week 04

Team Wins Losses
     
Mark Federov 4 0
Johnny Ryder 3 1
Miles Bowen 3 1
Jon Garciaparra 3 1
Sammy Walton 2 2
Abe Harkleman 2 2
Ben Wiltonsburg 1 3
Brad Lombarchi 1 3
Nick Wentworth 1 3
Izzy Harkleman 0 4

 

<--Week 03

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